September 2002 Archives

Driving home from Annabelle's tonight, I noticed a person laying on the side of the road.. it was 11pm at night, it looked like they were sort of laying behind a ute, sort of like they may have been inspecting underside of the ute. But on reflection, I dont know if thats the case now.. I think it was a body.. they were either, sleeping, knocked out, or dead.

Seriously, I hope that they are just drunk and are sleeping, although the "body" looked all neat.. like it had been placed there.. flat on their back.. legs straight, it didnt look sprawled out.. like it normally would if someone had falled down drunk.

Maybe I should have stopped to investigate, maybe I should have called the police or an ambulance.. maybe I should be doing something more then I am now.. which is nothing..

What right do I now have to expect that if something had happened to me on the side of the road, that someone would come to help me.. if I was in trouble.. I dont think I have any right.. because I have chosen to do nothing in this instance. Gosh I hope fate doesnt exist.

What is a near miss? Where does it come from?

There are probably two schools of thought.. the first being that near miss = nearly missed - this is the school which I subscribe to. In which case, most instances - if not all - that we refer to a near miss are completely wrong. Nearly missed = hit. So therefore the correct term should be "Near Hit" - as in nearly hit.. but didnt.. therefore it was a miss.

The second school of thought - probably says that near miss = it was 'near', but it was a 'miss'. Hence 'near miss'. This is the boring school of thought which I take no part whatsoever in..

From now on, let it be known that a "near miss" is really a "near hit".

I saw an advert for the movie "Eight Legged Freaks" tonight. Spiders. I hate Spiders. I remember an argument I had with an ex girlfriend over a spider. There was a giant huntsman in the bed room and there was no way I could sleep in the same room as "it". So I tried to remove it.. (ok I wasnt intending to use convential means - but thats not the point).. the point is that she refused to let me dispose of it.. I spat the dummy and wouldnt talk to her for hours.. we eventually found some common ground and arrange for it to be removed - which allowed for it to keep its life..

So anyway, the ad for the movie got me thinking.. how much I hate those damn spiders.. you know what the sum of all my fears would be.. of spiders had wings.. imagine if spiders could fly.. heck.. I wouldnt be able to get away from them then.. its too scary to imagine..

Today both my mobile phone and my PDA ran out of batteries. So effectively I had no access to phone numbers.. whilst there wasnt an urgent need for me to contact anyone, it was interesting to note how "isolated" I did feel.

Obviously I have become very dependant on these little electro gizmo's. Gone are the days where I could remember all of my friend's phone numbers in my head.. these days I am lucky if I remember more then a few - but then again I only have a few friends :)

Do you know your own phone number? I always tend to forget my home telephone number.. because I generally dont call it.. interesting...

Whilst talking all things mobile - I stumbled across a site today that provides instructions on how to output your moveable type website so that it can be downloaded and read on a PDA (via AvantGo).

Might get around to doing mine.. just for the sake of it..

Feeling inspired, and risking the critics of the world, I have put up some of the my black and white shots from Paris and London taken in 1991.

This was my first real introduction to black and white photography - it was also my first time overseas. The shots of Paris are quite grainy, which I think suits.

Enjoy!

If only I could take photographs this good!

I used to think I took ok photographs, since looking at the shots other people have taken it really puts things into perspective.. Im crap :) But I can dream one day of being that good.. often it comes down to luck.. whilst I think you can make any subject look interesting, with the right lighting and the right composition, often to get that "perfect" shot is about being at the right place at the right time.. take your camera with you everywhere..

Favourite site of the day has to go to the exploding dog.

Ok this is the place where you can SCRAWL. type what you want, something that - you heard. you read. you remembered. inspired you. offended you. ripped off. made you laugh. made you cry. whatever, if you have something to say there this is the place to say it. if you dont want the world to know it was you who said it then post it annon.

Yesterday in the Australian there was an article title "My Life as a Blog" If you are interested here is the link. If not the dont click on it.

Although an interesting link the article is the Mirror Project.

The other week when I was in Canberra, I rang the accomodation that I normally stay at - and we all know why I stay there - but they told me they didnt have any rooms @ that rate available.

They said that they would upgrade me though - which I thought was really cool. I was excited about getting a better "class" of room for the same rate. Bonus.

When I got there and saw the room they had given me, it sort of looked the same as the other rooms I had been staying in. I think the only difference was that it had a desk in it.. which I didnt use. It would normally be an xtra 20 odd dollars for the upgrade - lucky I got it for free.

Me thinks the only thing upgraded at that establishment is the price!

"Would you like to upgrade Sir.. " "Hmm yes please that would be nice, whats extra in the upgrade?" "$20.00. You pay us $20.00 and you have the satisfaction of staying in an upgraded room". "Yes, but whats different about the room?" "The price, Sir.."

Today on the train going to work I remembered I wanted to blog about two things. Whilst walking to work I kept repeating the things over and over again in my head, so that I wouldnt forget them. I even attempted to forget what they were so that I could see if I could remember what they were. During this "memory" test that I did manage to remember them both - but I think that has more to do with the fact that you cant try and forget something.

See my previous post about trying to think of nothing for additional comments on this topic.

Anyway, after my structured approach to remember what the two topics where - including my attempt to "forget", to test my memory - by the time I sat down at work and had access to a pen and paper - and email.. I had forgotten what they were about. I know one was about reading on trains (see previous note) - but for the life of me I cant remember what the 2nd thing was.

This blog is in memory of that 2nd thing that I cant remember. As ironic as that may sound.

Right. I think that if you read in a crowded area in public, like on a train or a bus, then everyone should be free to read what you are reading also. It doesnt matter if its a newspaper, a magazine, a laptop, emails or a private letter.

The fact that you are attempting to read such a thing in a crowd, when you know that the person sitting next to you, behind you or standing near you is probably going to have a bit of a peek makes it ok. After reading in a confined place is actually inviting prying eyes.. you read in public you give consent for everyone else to read with you.

I also have a view about reading when you walk. Dont do it. There is no point, its dangerous.. I dont want to be the person you almost walk into. And anyone who gives me that crap about not being able to put the book down, well park your butt in a cafe and finish it off.

Today it rained. Today I got wet. Today it was cold. Today I froze.

I also visited the drink machine again today, and I got my can of drink.. but I also got an extra $0.20.

So that means..

Me: 6 + $0.20
Drink Machine: 2

"At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation " warning light, and the car would not work.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off

Just catching up one a few blogs worthy events of late.

The Interactive Particle Theory is progessing, although things have slowed down the last week or so due to me spending some time in Canberra for work. But, we have decided to re-visit the E31 mix of Tullsino's Orb. I need to do some more work on the levels and panning of some of the tracks.. its only a few hours work, but its finding the time to do it and do it properly so that we can sign off on it.

tropfest shortfilms, I am involved in 2 projects for Tropfest this year. Both projects have stalled. Project one with a working title of Pinball is all ready to go, except for a suitable locaction. We need an old "fish and chips" shop with 2 pinball machines in them circa 1980's. Do you know how hard this is to find! Gosh.. they were a dime a dozen when I was a kid, before places like timezone existed. We think we are going to have to head out of the city to try and find one.. so we need to allocate some time for suitable location scouting. The other project with a working title of The Scream is still going through script refinement.. we need to do alot of work on this, we havent signed off on the script and therefore havent storyboarded it or even talked about locations or actors yet. I dont feel good about this one.

I was talking to Mark over the weekend, and I was asking him how some of his friends were going - in particular a very close mate of his. He said that the friendship has been a bit strained of late because his mate had gone a bit funny. I asked in what regard and he said that he had a degree in journalism and he was now interviewing personalities and important people. My brother said that his mate now didnt seem to have much time for him and that he felt his friend had somehow been swept up in it all and it had seemed to go to his head a bit.

This got me thinking.. how can that happened? Well I know how it happens.. but.. this is what I am thinking.. his mate is a journalist.. he is interviewing VIPs.. but why should that go to his head.. I think his mate has got this whole interviewing thing arse about.. is he forgetting that he is the interviewer? Its not like the VIP's are there to interview him? Does he think the VIPs are interested in him or what is happening to him? No, its the other way around.. does he think that the VIPs are going to "remember that lad from London who interviewed me.. gosh I wish I was him... " No. So I dont know how someone in that position could let something like that go to their head.. on the contrary.. I think it is reaffirming his place in the pecking order.. he is there because of the VIP not the other way around..

Another interesting statement about the perception of reality really?

[gosh I hope my brothers mate isnt reading my blogs.. :) heck.. yeah I do..
Tim wake up to yourself mate.. you dont get brownie points through association you know!]

I dont know what made me think of this blog, it just came to me. But I
recall one night when I was out for dinner with some people I had just met
from work - it was an interstate conference, so they were new acquaintences.
Anyway, somehow we got onto talking about ghost stories or erie events (as
you do after too much red wine). This girl was telling us a story which
really freaked her out when she was a teenager.

She was talking to her mother about life on other planets, and her mum was
saying that she thought life did exist elsewhere. This girl was saying that
she wasnt so sure about and she asked her mum why she was so confident about
it, and the conversation turned to her mum saying that maybe there were
aliens already on earth posing as human beings. Her daughter scoffed at her
mum and her mum turned to her and said, what if I was to tell you I am an
alien from another planet posing to be an human - and gave her daughter a
sly half smile.

The conversation abrupted stopped at that point and the poor girl said she
needed therapy for a few years after that :)

It does raise an interesting train of thought though doesnt it. Apart from
the general concept that there could be some truth in that - how do you
discount it? The other thought is, heck.. imagine your mum being the person
planting that seed of doubt in your head - about her!

This blog could easily turn into a blog about the perception of reality
rather then the question of it.. like the old question around.. when I see
the colour Blue do you see it too, or do you see Red and you have only been
taught to refer to it as Blue? Now everyone has been down that train of
thought havent they?

I have this theory that it is not possible to think about nothing. Try it now. No, I mean seriously try it now. [pause] See you cant do it. If you did manage to stop reading and try it, I bet you couldnt do it.

You probably have to concentrate to think of nothing, you have to focus on
it to do it. But the fact that you are focusing and concentrating on it
means you are thinking of something. Follow? Even the mere fact that you
are thinking of nothing is something. Nothing is something. The fact that
nothing exists means thats its something. Dont believe me? Look it up in
the dictionary.. there is something there under nothing.

How can it be done? It cant, its impossible - so when someone asks you
"what are you thinking about?" and you respond with "nothing". You are
lying. Tell them the truth - that its none of their business, or that your
thoughts are either so rude, so crude, so insignificant or so boring, that
if you did share them you would be eternally embarrassed.

Of course all of those people that have have been in deep meditation on a
hill side in tibet will argue with me about this. But then again if they
knew any better then wouldnt be on that damn hill thinking about nothing in
the first place :)

Quincunx (Noun)
Pronunciation: ['kwing-kungks]
Definition 1: Five objects arranged so that four are at the corners of a square or rectangle and one is at the center; the pattern of "five" on a 6-sided die.

What does it mean when you are referred to as Mr X. or Q or Crumpet?

If you had a choice to be referred to as either of these - or even if you didnt have a choice.. what one would you choose? Or would you choose to be known as Mr X Q Crumpet?

The other day a work collegue came into work with their partner and their baby. Anyway, this raised my interest a bit. I was interested to see what my work collegues partner looked like. Its interesting because when you work with someone you tend to form certain views about them - you cant help it it happens. Call it judgemental if you will I dont care.. accept that it happens eitherway..

Anyway, so I was eager to see if the partnership was "equal" so to speak. Dont you ever do that? Dont you ever wonder if two people are equal in looks for example?

Moving right alone.. the interesting part is that I went to speak to a Annabelle about it because I didnt think that the partnership was "equal" in the way that I expected. It was vastly out of proportion but, not equal all the same. She also didnt think it was also. The interesting point of this whole blog (yes I know it is dragging isnt it) - is that we didnt think it was equal for opposite reasons. She thought he sold himself short and I thought she sold herself short. We were both equally surprised by our observations..

This really highlights how each of us perceive each other and what one finds attractive. Maybe its the male v female thing, but I dont know if its that.. I generally can tell if a guy is attractive, as Im sure girls can do about girls. And it would seem that us views were completely different on this one. Me thinking he would be struggling, and she thinking he was pretty hot. Even finding his way onto a so called "list". But thats a different blog..

I got one of these Compaq Ipaq 3850 at a very discounted price - 2nd hand. It is fantastic! I know it confirms that I am a geek freak.. or is that a freak geek? Eitherway, everyone needs one.. just do it!

All I need now is a digital photoframe..

Overall I dont mind Canberra.. while most say its boring as batshit.. that doesnt trouble me.. it almost has it all (except a harbour.. but Sydney Harbour would have to be one of the best in the world.. so I am spoilt when I say that)..

Canberra has most of the mod cons of a city.. yet it also has all of the beauty of being set in bushland.. I like that.. I like the idea you dont have to do far and you are in the middle of nowhere..

Although internet cafes are hard to find. This is my first time in an internet cafe.. $0.20 per minute sheez!

Yesterday whilst driving from the office to my motel, I noticed a boy with a dog.. I thought to myself.. sheez.. that dog is almost as big as a horse.. yep! It was a horse.. well a pony anyway..

Today, whilst in the loo's I noticed that my shirt was the same colour as the soap in the soap dispenser.. the good news is that if I had accidently got some of the soap on my shirt no one would have noticed.. I didnt though.. but I was almost tempted to test it :)

Today I was told I am the "LOMLFOTC" Got to be happy with that.. thats even better then being referred to as a "saddle buddy" - still dont know what that one meant..

/end_script.

Last night I had the most bizarre dream.. it was my first dream of the night - I know this because I went to bed after the panel which ended at about 10.45pm and I figure it took me about 30 mins to fall asleep. The next thing I know I am awake - recovering from the "freak out" dream.. looking at the clock it was 12.12am..

The dream started with myself and my brother on a train station waiting for a train to get home.. he was drunk (nothing unusual so far :)).. we get onto the train and there are a bunch of cute girls on the train and a few blokes. My brother focuses on this one girl.. (she was cute.. it was my dream after all :)).. and he starts to chat her up by telling her what he would like to do to her.. then this guy motions forward - obviously her boyfriend .. I sense what is about to happen and try to intervene by telling the bf - that my brother is drunk and he doesnt know what he is doing and that he should just ignore him. As I am doing this my brother continues with the "this is how I will pleasure you" routine on the guys gf. Just as I finishing saying.. ignore my brother he is harmless.. my brother says to the girl "thats what I want to do to you.. here is my phone number call me.. " [he kept calling her babe and baby - this is significant].. with that.. the aggrieved bf punches my brother with both hands at the same time (it was a dream after all).. and connects with him just above his left eye.. it knocks him backwards, knocks him out for a few seconds and blood streams from his eye..

I collect him up and get him off the train at the next station.. this is where my dream goes heywire. I am now nursing my brother in my arms like a baby.. he is drifting in and out of conscousness.. (hey thats spelt wrong.. but why single that one out :)).. I get off the train and there are a heap of policemen on the station.. nursing my brother (who is 2 years older then me) in my arms I sing out "I need an ambulance, someone call me an ambulance". The policemen then start saying, almost under their breathe.. "ambulance, ambulance". It is clear they are saying this to themselves and are not attempting in one bit to call the ambulance as I had requested.

I take my brother up the stairs of the platform.. still nursing him like I would carry a baby.. knowing that I need to get him to hospital because he has been knocked from a blow to the head.. he is now starting to throw up.. I also know that this is a bad sign.. and the urgency to get him to hospital increases..

I get to the top of the station and move out to the main road.. where I try and flag down a taxi.. none of them stop.. finally I manage to see a vacant taxi and I flag it down (btw I dream in colour).. to get to the taxi I have to walk through some bushes, and this upsets my because I dont want the twigs to scratch my brother.. I finally get to the taxi.. and tell the taxi drive I need to get to the hospital because I know my brother is going to die from the blow to the head.

I look at the taxi driver and I am surprised to see that he is nursing a baby in his arms.. I wonder how he will be able to drive the taxi and nurse the baby at the same time.. he manages to do this though.. and I dont question it..

I look down at my brother who is in my arms.. with blood streaming from his head.. sensing he is close to death.. I tell him that I love him.. he tells me that he loves me back.. he then starts to suck my thumb like a baby would..he does this for a while.. I start to cry and then I wake up.. with a sense of urgency.. not being able to breathe properly.. and my thumb has this strangest feeling.. as if someone had been sucking it.. maybe it was the position of it.. I may have been laying on it..

This dream troubled me for obvious reasons.. I was too scared to get back to sleep.. I wanted to talk to my brother urgently.. knowing that I couldnt though.. as he lives overseas.. then I remembered that if you dream of a death it actually means the birth of something/one. I then thought about all of the references (too many to not to be uncanny) to "babies" in the dream.

I finally got back to sleep.. when I woke up this morning.. I had 2 scratches on my face..

What does it mean?

Last night, the Interactive Particle Theory.. completed the E31 Mix to Tullsino's Orb. The final product has some 36 odd tracks (thats counting the drum loop as one track!)..

Wondering what it sounds like? Here is an edit - Tullsino's Orb E31 Mix.mp3

Some minor tweaking of the levels and panning still needs to be done and no doubt several other mixes will be born.

Work takes me to Canberra tomorrow.. its not something I long for.. but its something that has to be done - full stop. I am meant to be down there 2-3 days a week for the next few weeks.. so the blogs could be few and far between..

I have booked into "the Quiet Alternative".. Tall Tree's in Ainslie.. the reason stay there is simple. I get real milk. A small carton of milk for my coffee - its nothing special I know.. but is reason enough to chose to stay there rather then in another motel that thinks they can keep their patrons happy with those stupid thimbles full of milk. Whats that all about? Bloody airline milk without the joy of flying.. I think not..

I actually dont mind Canberra.. just dont like the concept of being away from home.. hate sleeping in a "strange" bed.. and disapprove of the idea that I cant visit a friend, pick a CD from my collection or play a computer game when I want to.

You really shouldnt have to put a part of your life on hold for work.

In rotation : Jesus Jones - London, Avril Lavigne - Let Go, the Devils - Dark Circles.

[glad there's a CD player in the car.. its a 3 hour drive to Canberra]

Additional information which is important: I managed to successfully get another can of drink from the drink machine. Mind you I did have to pay. I do believe the tally is now..

Me: 5
Drink Machine: 2

Its been a week since my last blog. This could be a long one..

Lets start with spring.. and hasnt it blossomed.. its as if there was no winter.. seriously, did anyone this side of the world think it was cold? I was toying with going down to the snow sometime soon.. but erm.. its spring :) There probably is no snow.. looks like I missed it this year.. [cough] Remember.. Im full of good intentions.

So anyway, this spring thing.. in the last week my bonsai's [I should get some pictures up I know] have really come alive.. you may recall I mentioned that I thought my bonsai's were confused.. well I think they just got a head start leading into spring.. (a spring into spring.. geddit?) and they have really taken off now.. all green and full of flowers - even the ones I thought were dead.

Tip #52 Dont discard bonsai's even when they look dead - they are only either pretending or sleeping. This reminds me of the time my parents got my brother and myself hermit craps as kids. We gave them a ceremonial burial when in fact they were hibernating..

So anyway, whats been happening in the last week.. had a great weekend (again.. starting to make a habit of this.. ) Went to an engagement party for Jason and Bron [bless their souls].. which was a great night - if you exclude my drunken exploitative(s).

Ooops.. got guests.. more on this later...